girlebony:

I believe I’ve seen a comprehensive description of consent once before. Figured I’d contribute as it’s a subject that bears repeating.

Consent is:

• Non-coercive: If you’re cojoling, threatening or otherwise trying to “convince” someone to engage in a sexual act with you, you are breaking consent. If you asked 16 times and got 15 No’s and 1 Yes, you still did not adequately obtain consent. Also, you’re a weak individual.
• Not fixed: What I mean by this is you shouldn’t take for granted that after asking once for consent that you now have consent forever. It’s not like landing a gig as a Supreme Court judge. You don’t have consent for life. It should be continuously negotiated.
• Dynamic: Related to the above note, consent for one act does not necessitate consent for all acts. Consent is not an EZ Pass. It should be re-addressed constantly for different acts.
• Conscious: Yeah, I want to believe I don’t have to explain this one. Bad enough I had to list it. But ok, yes, an inebriated/asleep/passed out or otherwise not fully coherent person cannot consent. There, you can’t say no one ever told you.
• Unambiguous/Explicit: Assume all of the following to mean “no.” — “Maybe,” “I’m not sure,” “Not yet,” “Kinda,” “Wait a minute,” …I could go on.
• Not contingent upon sexual interest nor sexual arousal: We know. Blue balls are a motherfucker. Still no excuse. Neither your NOR the expressed/implied interest of any potential partners is an invitation to any act. Also, neither your nor the (assumed) arousal of anyone you might want to have sex with is an invitation. Yes, someone might be aroused and still not want to fuck. Crazy times. I know.
• Not compensatory: Yeah, that dinner and a movie were nice. Still not an invitation to fuck. And if you thought it was, you’re a world class asshole.
• Not something that requires a qualifier: No one needs to explain why they are not granting you consent. No is enough.

(via madshadysituations)

laaacrymosa:

Back by popular demand

1. The most important rule: Beware of thongs. I used to be completely ANTI-thong, but I’ve recently made my foray into lace thongs and I’m making exceptions. You have to be careful though.. you don’t want to look too tacky. Thongs are okay but they aren’t any better.
2. Spending extra money on a “sexy” bra is a waste. Believe me, your breasts will ALWAYS look better when nothing is covering them… seriously.
3. Boyshorts are cute but misleading. Those are the ones that you don’t order online because they have to be made just right. You have to try them on and if they shape your butt nicely, perfect! If they don’t, turn around and walk away.
4. Lace is always nice. No matter what—Lace wins.
5. Pay attention to material and how they fit. Cotton and lace are nice but if they are too tight, they are unflattering. Silk and velvet are very, VERY, nice but treat them with care—Ideally, you do want to wear them more than once. Know your sizes because they vary according to fabric.
6. Always… ALWAYS stay away from Victoria’s Secret PINK Collection. Hot-pink thongs that say “Dive In” or “Pretty, Prettier, Prettiest” are honestly the worst ideas. I could go on about this for hours but I’ll leave it there… just stay away.
7. Sometimes the simpler you get the better they are. Plain white or black with a light pink bow in the middle is always nice and safe no matter what.
8. Be very careful when choosing stockings—pay attention to the material. Opaque stockings are nice if they are well made. Sometimes, you really do have to spend a little more to make sure you are getting the best material. There are some stockings that I ordered that were so frail that they ripped when I was trying to put them on. You don’t want that to happen to you… it isn’t a good feeling.
9. Another tip on stockings: if you are shopping online and they are described as “sexy,” they are probably really tacky. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t look just in case, though.
10. I personally think that fishnet patterns are the tackiest—but whatever floats your boat I guess.
11. There are certain patterns for underwear that you ought to just stay away from. Keep it simple—stripes, small polka dots, maybe a little floral pattern. Just don’t overdue it with some abstract painting. It looks kind of dumb. It’s almost like you’re trying to take the attention away from what you wear it for and you don’t want to do that.
12. You also want to be comfortable. You don’t want your underwear to give you a gross rash or to have you picking your butt every ten minutes. Always have a nice set of cotton underwear—they are good to sleep in and good for when you are on your period and you can’t tolerate annoying shit like uncomfortable underwear.
13. Animal-print… all I am going to say is be careful.
14. Always try corsets on.
15. Garter belts are sexy as hell but make sure you’ve got some thigh highs first. You don’t want to be the dummy that has a garter belt on with the clasps flapper about. Also make sure that it matches with the thigh highs. If you ask me, stick to black and white garter belts. Don’t go too crazy with them.
16. It depends what you are going for.. I can’t dictate your style. I’m just trying to make a simple map for what I believe to be classy lingerie.

I could add more but this is all that comes to mind at the moment

You could always drop something in my ask if you have more questions

(via laaacrymosa-deactivated20120415)